Ok so if you have read my about page you know that I am in medical school. I am not going to rant about how mind-blowing-ly terribly and life draining med school is (starting now). I will say this. I think sometimes we need a break in life. So there is the throwback to one of the ’90s most popular commercial jingle in my title. This post is about the need to take a break and recharge.
I, like so many, was in need of one of these breaks in life. Since I am in the academic life, mine came in the form of the Christmas/Winter break. I got to go home for the first time in well…. I honestly would have to stop in think (home is an hour drive btw). I will say before you think I’m so lame for never going to see the fam, they often come to Jackson. So I have seen family, I just haven’t been to the ole house in a while. Family Christmas time was exceptionally healing for me. I got to spend a good bit of time with my amazing sister who is growing up way-too-fast. I had time to spend with my extended family on Christmas day. It was really just a good time with great food and even better people.
Yet, even in this I was still needing something else. I was needing that moment to settle with myself. Often I find myself just going and going. I have time with me and studying, or me and feeling guilty for not studying, or hanging with friends (and still feeling guilty, yet distracted). It is nice to just be me. To have my parogative. To again explore who I am. Where do I find contentment? What does my heart desire. This is done in so many different ways. Yes, I have done some studying, but that is not very pleasurable. I also have done some gaming, yet again while it is fun. It does not lead to contentment. See my heart doesn’t belong here. That is what I have found once again. That is what God has shown me once again. I am not my own, I was bought with a price. I know that and it leads me down a different path. It creates extravagantly deep desires in my heart. Desires that seem as though they were with me since the beginning of time before I existed. That is how I know that they are given to me. I desire the nations. I desire to go to the nations. I desire to bring Christ to the nations. No, I desire to bring the nations to Christ.
I have spent time in the Philippines doing just that. So much of my heart is in that wonderful country. Rather those wonderful, frustrating, humble, hospitable, goofy South-Asian people. I long to go back, but I don’t even guarantee that will give me what I need. I don’t know that it is there. It might be. I just don’t know. What I do know is that I feel the hunger. I have finally had time to clear my head of all the clutter. So that is what the break provided me. It gave me back myself. So what are you doing to make sure you don’t get lost in this busy world? I will soon be transforming from academic to a strange hybrid between academic and work world. What is your advice to someone like me on not losing yourself? I think if I’m honest, I had lost myself. So far from my heart. So much struggle to be content with where God has me. So much opposition to even get to try and nurture and share about my desire where I am…. Oh give me a break, give me a break, break me off a little of that……….
1 You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.